Thursday, December 15, 2016

The Story of Jerry and Jane or is coaching useful?

The new trend of seeking out a coach smacks of the 1980’s obsession, where everybody had to have a “mind” therapist of some sort. Was this trend useful or merely self-indulgent? Certainly the older generation were non-plussed.  “Just get over it!” Was a common and less than useful rejoinder! The world has not obviously become a better place because of the vogue, but many people have become a lot more self-aware and overcome a host of emotional barriers as a result, and that cannot be a bad thing!

OK, what’s the point of coaching? In order to answer the question, we need to look at what I would like to describe as the five-point coaching matrix.

The coach’s first job is to help his client clarify exactly what he is setting out to achieve. Most people will be able to tell you what they don’t want but are usually stumped when asked what exactly it is they do want! The coach helps her client get a clear picture of the desired objective. This clarity is amazingly important. Let’s give an example, and let’s invent an imaginary client whom we shall call Jane. Jane is a successful is corporate career girl. She is approaching 40, but has not found the man of her dreams. The clock is ticking and she is in a bit of a hurry. Her coach, Jerry, knows this, so he helps Jane clarify what sort of man would be her “ideal” partner. What would he look like? How would he dress? What would he do? How would he behave? What would his interests be and so on? Jerry helps Jane bring her “honey” to life. She can now see him, hear him and feel him so he becomes a real person for her. This is the blueprint for what she is looking for.

The second step is for the team to sit down and construct a road map of how to bring somebody like “honey” into Jane’s life. This is the action plan. Unfortunately, ideal life partners are not delivered to the front door, or at least not usually. You must go out there and do something about it.

The third phase is for Jerry to help Jane uncover some skill she may lack that are standing in the way of her reaching her desired outcome. Maybe she needs to know about internet dating, or if this is a business niche then she might need to hone up on marketing or computer skills. The coach points out the area that is in need of up-skilling and then helps provide training where the missing ingredients can be found.

The fourth step the team needs to investigate is the environment. If Jerry is a health coach and Jane’s goal is weight loss, then they probably need to take stock of Jane’s kitchen cupboards. What foods does she have that are standing in her way of losing those excess pounds? Jerry will counsel Jane to get the offenders out of her environment and probably to remind her that food does not have legs and she needs to be a lot more careful in her shopping habits.

Fifth and lastly, we turn to mind matters. Jerry uses a plethora of tools to help Jane identify and then overcome the trapped emotions and fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, insecurities, self image issues and a myriad of other chunks that are preventing her from reaching her goal. If all of these didn’t exist she would have got there already, wouldn’t she? Any challenge anybody faces lies somewhere in this matrix. Repair the matrix and all the Janes of this world have a good chance of making their dreams come true!

To answer the original question, is all of this worthwhile? I certainly think so, don’t you? If you would like to find out for yourself, click here  and you can sign up for a cost free 45 minute phone or Skype strategy session. As they say the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Alister Bredee
Koh Samui
June 28th 2015

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