The Story of Jerry and Jane or is coaching useful?

The new trend of seeking out a coach smacks of the 1980’s obsession, where everybody had to have a “mind” therapist of some sort. Was this trend useful or merely self-indulgent? Certainly the older generation were non-plussed.  “Just get over it!” Was a common and less than useful rejoinder! The world has not obviously become a better place because of the vogue, but many people have become a lot more self-aware and overcome a host of emotional barriers as a result, and that cannot be a bad thing!

OK, what’s the point of coaching? In order to answer the question, we need to look at what I would like to describe as the five-point coaching matrix.

The coach’s first job is to help his client clarify exactly what he is setting out to achieve. Most people will be able to tell you what they don’t want but are usually stumped when asked what exactly it is they do want! The coach helps her client get a clear picture of the desired objective. This clarity is amazingly important. Let’s give an example, and let’s invent an imaginary client whom we shall call Jane. Jane is a successful is corporate career girl. She is approaching 40, but has not found the man of her dreams. The clock is ticking and she is in a bit of a hurry. Her coach, Jerry, knows this, so he helps Jane clarify what sort of man would be her “ideal” partner. What would he look like? How would he dress? What would he do? How would he behave? What would his interests be and so on? Jerry helps Jane bring her “honey” to life. She can now see him, hear him and feel him so he becomes a real person for her. This is the blueprint for what she is looking for.

The second step is for the team to sit down and construct a road map of how to bring somebody like “honey” into Jane’s life. This is the action plan. Unfortunately, ideal life partners are not delivered to the front door, or at least not usually. You must go out there and do something about it.

The third phase is for Jerry to help Jane uncover some skill she may lack that are standing in the way of her reaching her desired outcome. Maybe she needs to know about internet dating, or if this is a business niche then she might need to hone up on marketing or computer skills. The coach points out the area that is in need of up-skilling and then helps provide training where the missing ingredients can be found.

The fourth step the team need to investigate is the environment. If Jerry is a health coach and Jane’s goal is weight loss, then they probably need to take stock of Jane’s kitchen cupboards. What foods does she have that are standing in her way of losing those excess pounds? Jerry will counsel Jane to get the offenders out of her environment and probably to remind her that food does not have legs and she needs to be a lot more careful in her shopping habits.

Fifth and lastly, we turn to mind matters. Jerry uses a plethora of tools to help Jane identify and then overcome the trapped emotions and fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, insecurities, self image issues and a myriad of other chunks that are preventing her from reaching her goal. If all of these didn’t exist she would have got there already, wouldn’t she? Any challenge anybody faces lies somewhere in this matrix. Repair the matrix and all the Janes of this world have a good chance of making their dreams come true!

To answer the original question, is all of this worthwhile? I certainly think so, don’t you? If you would like to find out for yourself, click here and you can sign up for a cost free 45 minute phone or Skype strategy session. As they say the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Alister Bredee

Koh Samui

June 28^th 2015

Is Coaching Worth the Money?

We hear a lot these days about the benefits of coaching, but is it genuinely worthwhile? The stars of the industry include Joe Vitale who appeared in Rhonda Byrne’s breakthrough film, “The Secret”. Joe charges $10,000 for a dinner meeting. Coaching “hunk” Christian Micklesen expects you to pay $250,000 for a year’s work together and there is a guy in Arizona who charges a whopping $1,000,000. These sound like incredible sums of money; the whole issue poses the question is it worth it?

The answer must be “yes”, otherwise people would not pay! Those who sign up for these programs know at gut level it is really up to them, but they need help in achieving the goals they desire. You, really can’t do it on your own, an objective mentor is somebody you are accountable to, who challenges your ideas and motivates you to get the best out of yourself. So when you sign-up with a life, business, relationship, money, sex or whatever you like coach you expect a bang for your buck! Most, if not all, coaches have coaches themselves and if results were not forthcoming the word would surely get out! On a personal note, I signed up with a coach last September for a year’s business and mojo enhancement at $500.00 per month. I never believed I could keep up the payments but have found that has not been an issue, in fact I have increased my earnings fivefold and have learned a huge amount along the way. When our contract ends in August, I will then seek out somebody else to continue the journey.

Why is this so successful? Coaching is not therapy, although you might expect to undergo some therapy whilst coaching. In a therapeutic situation, you go and see the therapist on a session by session basis. Thus, when you feel you are mended you quit the therapy. For instance I would only go to see my massage therapist when I had a problem. As an example; you have a frozen shoulder, you go to see your “body worker” who works on the shoulder; the pain vanishes and ease begins to return, so you think you’re done and you quit the sessions! But have you truly got to the root cause of what put the shoulder out of kilter in the first place? Probably not, the cause could be a misaligned vertebra which has not even been considered at that short term juncture. Result the shoulder is likely to seize up again at some time in the future.

A “Health Coach” working on the frozen shoulder example, does not contract to work with the client from session to session but instead on a time basis. The client has a goal of repairing the shoulder and the coach designs a road map that takes the client to the desired destination. This is likely to be a long-term relationship in which the shoulder is fixed and remains symptom free for an appreciable period. This treatment might involve a lot more than simply manipulating the locked limb.

The agreement could span one, three, six or even twelve months. The parties contract to meet-up two or three times per month. Payment is made on a monthly basis or is often a discounted lump sum for the whole training at the outset. The coach and the client commit to the process whereby the latter not only shows up for the sessions but usually has exercises and tasks to complete in between. A committed relationship to change like this, usually gives a more spectacular result than the “fix-it and see" approach generated by the single session model.

Many coaches offer cost free strategy sessions as a first off in the process. The intention is to discern whether the coach can actually help the client with his/her problem and to see if they can comfortably work together over the long term. Some of these sessions are face-to-face, but more frequently they are via telephone or Skype. If you would like to try one, see what's on offer here. 

Alister Bredee

Koh Samui Thailand

June 21^st 2015